I have always had a hard time accepting something simply because somebody said it confidently.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe that is just the way my mind works.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe it comes from growing up in situations where I sometimes felt like I needed to prove my side.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe it comes from getting on the internet ridiculously young, reading everything I could find, saving pages, following links, and constantly asking questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe it comes from always loving mysteries, investigations, espionage, detective stories, and figuring out what was really going on underneath what everybody could see.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Whatever the reason, I have always wanted to know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Not just believe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
And there is a difference.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When emotions get loud, that difference matters more than ever.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Because emotion can tell you that something feels true.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Evidence asks whether it actually is.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n When I think about evidence, I do not think its purpose should be proving that I am right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think its purpose should be proving what is right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I am wrong, I want to know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody else is wrong, I want them to know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If both of us only understand part of what happened, then I want the evidence to help fill in the rest.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is how I think truth should work.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Logic.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Fairness.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Honesty.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Facts.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who yelled louder?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who had more friends?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who looked more convincing?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who had more money?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who came from the better-known family?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who told their story first?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n None of those things make something true.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Truth does not become more true because somebody delivers it confidently.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And a lie does not become truth because enough people repeat it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Proof gives me a sense of safety.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not because I think having evidence means everything will turn out the way I want.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have learned very clearly that it does not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But evidence gives me something solid to stand on.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When everything around you gets loud, when a lot of people believe something, when everybody seems completely certain, documentation gives you somewhere quiet to go back to.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can look again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Read it again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check the date.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check the message.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check the timeline.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Ask yourself:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Am I remembering this correctly?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did this actually happen the way I think it did?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is something grounding about that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially when you are dealing with a situation where a large group of people seems to have accepted information that came from only a small number of original sources.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can go back to the record and say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Okay.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n This is what I actually know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think people often collapse three completely different things into one.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I believe this happened.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I know this happened.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I can prove this happened.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are not interchangeable.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I believe this happened” might come from something somebody told you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n An assumption.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your interpretation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A story you heard.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something that seems likely.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not necessarily mean you are wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But belief alone should make us cautious about what we do next.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then there is:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I know this happened.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you witnessed it yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe somebody told you something firsthand that you have no reason to doubt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe there are circumstances where you genuinely know something happened but cannot publicly prove every part of it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That can be incredibly frustrating.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because knowing something and being able to establish it for somebody else are very different things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then there is:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I can prove this happened.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now there is something another person can examine.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something they do not have to take your word for.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is a different level entirely.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think we would cause a lot less damage if we became more honest about which one we actually have.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n This is difficult because emotions are real.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody is scared, they are scared.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody is angry, they are angry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody is hurt, they are hurt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those feelings matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But the existence of the feeling does not automatically prove the explanation for it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can feel afraid and still misunderstand why something happened.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can feel betrayed and still have part of the story wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can feel completely certain and still be missing information.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The danger starts when feelings become evidence.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now something feels wrong, therefore somebody must have done something wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then somebody else hears how strongly you feel.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They trust you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They adopt your conclusion.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They tell another person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Eventually an entire reality can be constructed from emotions that were never independently checked.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And those realities can have consequences.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n For relationships.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Families.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Careers.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Reputations.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Entire lives.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is why evidence matters most when emotions are loud.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not because emotions should be ignored.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because emotions are exactly when we need something solid enough to check ourselves against.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n People confuse confidence with credibility all the time.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somebody speaks calmly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are confident.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They seem respectable.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They have money.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Connections.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A good reputation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A good family.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A polished life.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So people assume:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They must know what they are talking about.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But outward appearances do not establish truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A struggling person can tell the truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A successful person can lie.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A good person can be wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A person with an ugly past can be right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n None of us become immune to mistakes because of our income, status, education, friendships, or reputation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes the person who looks the most put together knows exactly how to look put together.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes the person struggling to explain themselves looks terrible precisely because they are struggling.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is why I keep coming back to the same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Look at what can actually be established.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not what looks best.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n One of the things my background in OSINT, cybersecurity, and digital forensics reinforced for me is something life had already been teaching me:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Things are not always what they seem.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have worked on missing-person situations where understanding information correctly mattered.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And something you learn quickly in investigative work is that a piece of supposed evidence does not become reliable simply because someone handed it to you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People can intentionally create misleading trails.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Information can be taken out of context.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Records can be incomplete.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Screenshots can be cropped.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Timelines can be misunderstood.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A person can leave information behind specifically hoping you draw the wrong conclusion.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So when somebody gives me evidence, my instinct is not:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Great. Now I know the truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My instinct is:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Okay. Let’s check it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where did this come from?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Can it be independently verified?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Does the timeline make sense?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What exists before and after this?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Does another source confirm it?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What would prove this wrong?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That last question matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Evidence should survive attempts to disprove it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Otherwise you may not be investigating.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You may just be collecting support for what you already wanted to believe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Even misleading information can tell you something.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody repeatedly presents things that fall apart when examined, that becomes relevant.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody repeatedly leaves out context, that matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If a source consistently tells one version while independent records keep showing something else, eventually that pattern matters too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not mean you assume every inconsistency proves malice.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People remember things incorrectly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People misunderstand.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People make mistakes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But that is exactly why you check.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Evidence is not supposed to be worshipped.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is supposed to be examined.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n There have been times in my life where I genuinely believed:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Once people see this, this will be over.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Once they look at the messages.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Once they look at the records.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Once they understand the timeline.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Once they see what I am seeing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then everything will make sense.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That was naive.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes you can be sitting on a mountain of documentation and still discover that nobody wants to climb it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is demoralizing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is confusing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially when you believe people you love are being hurt and you think:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Please.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Just look.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But evidence does not force somebody to care.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It does not force somebody to reconsider.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And it definitely does not force somebody to admit they were wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes accepting evidence would require a person to question years of beliefs.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe people they trusted.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe choices they made.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe things they supported.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe their own behavior.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is a lot harder than simply looking at a screenshot.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And sometimes people choose not to.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have been documenting things for as long as I can remember.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When I was a kid on the internet, I used to save links I liked in Notepad or WordPad.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I printed webpages.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Actual webpages.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I would put them into binders because I did not want to lose information I thought was useful or interesting.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Looking back, that is pretty funny.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But it also tells me this was always part of me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Save it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Be able to find it again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Documentation can protect you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes just knowing records exist prevents things from going further.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes you never even know what did not happen because somebody knew there was documentation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But documentation can become consuming too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially when you start believing:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I can just show one more person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I can organize this one more way.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody would just look.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now the evidence is no longer helping you stay grounded.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You are living inside it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have had to learn that difference too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Organize it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Back it up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Protect it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But do not stop living because nobody wants to see it today.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Evidence should establish truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Protect people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Help somebody make an informed decision.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Correct the record where possible.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It should not exist so somebody can stand over another person and say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n See?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I won.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because truth is bigger than winning.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes evidence proves you were right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes it proves you were wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you only value evidence when it agrees with you, you do not value evidence.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You value being right.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are different things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Due process, to me, is very simple.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let somebody speak.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them answer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them know what is being said.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them present what they have.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let the information actually be examined.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not build an entire conclusion from whispers while the person being discussed does not even know the conversation exists.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not mean everybody gets the outcome they want.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is not what fairness means.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Fairness means you do not decide first and investigate second.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n A person deserves a real opportunity to respond.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially when the consequences matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think people sometimes treat changing their mind like losing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I see it almost completely opposite.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you show me better information and I change my mind, I did not lose.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I just got smarter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You patched a hole in what I knew.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Thank you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is one reason I am willing to listen to almost anybody.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My son taught me how to do a backflip.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Why would I refuse to listen to him because I am older?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n He knew how to do one.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So I listened.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I tried what he told me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I got closer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The new evidence suggested his advice was working.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I kept going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Eventually I did it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is such a simple example, but I think it applies to almost everything.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who cares where good information comes from?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If it is true, useful, and verifiable, use it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not want to protect an old belief just because it belonged to me first.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want the right answer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Evidence takes patience.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes you only have part of the picture.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And one of the worst things you can do is force the rest of the picture to match whatever you already believe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Wait.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep looking.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let additional information arrive.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check another source.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Build the timeline.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Ask more questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Understand who was where.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Understand what happened before.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Understand what happened afterward.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes the conclusion becomes obvious only after you stop trying to reach it so quickly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is hard when emotions are involved.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But patience can save you from doing something based on an incomplete picture.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Memory is strange.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Over time, you forget.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not necessarily the big thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The scale.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The frequency.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The dates.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The order.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You might remember something as happening before another event when the records show it happened afterward.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You might forget how often something occurred.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You may even forget how bad a period actually was because your mind eventually dulls the edges.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then you go back to old messages, records, or photos and think:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Wow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I forgot about this.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is another reason documentation matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not only because you can show somebody else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because sometimes you need to show yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n One of the most dangerous ways to use evidence is to collect only what supports what you already believe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now you are not looking for truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You are building a case for yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Every piece that agrees gets saved.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Everything that disagrees gets ignored.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Eventually you have a beautiful stack of evidence proving something that might not actually be true.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is confirmation bias.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The goal should be the opposite.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Find everything.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially the thing that might prove you wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If my conclusion cannot survive contradictory evidence, I need a better conclusion.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I would rather discover today that I am wrong than spend ten years becoming more confidently wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The older I get, the less black and white I think most of life is.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People are complicated.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Relationships are complicated.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Motives are complicated.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But there is still one thing I see pretty simply.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something is true.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something is false.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or we do not know yet.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That third category matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Unknown.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n We do not have to force everything immediately into true or false.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes the most honest answer available is:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I don’t know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We need more information.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is nothing weak about that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It might actually be one of the strongest things someone can say.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Change.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Stop.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Fix what you can.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Apologize if you owe somebody an apology.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Correct what you said if you spread something wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not see evidence that contradicts you and decide the answer is to get louder.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot drown truth out by adding more voices.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You might delay it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You might confuse things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But you are not making yourself right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you do not have the courage to investigate further, then at the very least stop doing damage until you know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Save it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Organize it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Verify it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Back it up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Make sure it is actually as strong as you think it is.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then go have coffee.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Go build something.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Go love your family.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Go live.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you have a legitimate fight you still need to fight, fight it responsibly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But do not build your house on top of the evidence pile and live there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You still have a life.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The fact that nobody wants to hear the truth today does not mean you have to stop living until they do.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n One thing I try to do now when somebody upsets me is ask questions inside my own head before deciding what happened.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Was that actually directed at me?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Are they having a bad day?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did I misunderstand the tone?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did something happen before I walked into this conversation?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Could I be missing context?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Even if somebody really is being rude, does this response deserve my entire afternoon?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Usually not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not mean you become naive.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means you investigate before you sentence.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Even inside your own head.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That has helped me tremendously.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you are in the middle of a highly emotional conflict and every part of you is screaming:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Respond.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Right now.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My advice is simple.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Don’t.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not yet.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Take your time.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Process.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Think.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Get the facts.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because your emotion can be completely legitimate and still produce a reaction that hurts you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somebody else may be acting entirely out of emotion while appearing perfectly calm.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then you respond visibly angry, scared, desperate, or hurt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What does everybody else see?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your reaction.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not necessarily what caused it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is unfair sometimes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is also reality.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So slow down.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not let somebody else’s emotional decision choose your emotional response.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Having evidence is not enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You still have to interpret it responsibly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you look at everything through anger, you can make evidence say things it does not actually say.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you look through fear, same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you desperately need one specific outcome, suddenly everything seems to point toward it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The evidence needs room to speak for itself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That may mean seeing something you do not want to see.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is the price of actually caring about truth.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I could teach my kids one thing about accusations, evidence, and truth, it would probably be this:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Never judge a book by its cover.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But also do not judge it only by the reviews.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Read it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Think for yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Ask questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep an open mind.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not let somebody else choose who you love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not let somebody else choose what you believe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Listen.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Learn.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And understand that the person everybody is talking about may not be the person everybody actually knows.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Make your own decision.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n There are moments when accusations, arguments, opinions, fear, anger, and everybody else’s certainty become so loud that it feels like you have to choose immediately.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Slow down.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Separate what you feel from what you know.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then separate what you know from what you can actually establish.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Look at the evidence.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Look at all of it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially the parts you do not like.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Ask questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check the source.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Check yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Give people a chance to answer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Be willing to change your mind.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Be willing to say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I was wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Be equally willing to say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We do not know yet.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And never let the loudest voice in the room become the truth simply because it got there first.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because evidence is not supposed to prove who won.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Evidence is supposed to help us figure out what is true.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n And when emotions are loud, that may be when we need it most.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have always had a hard time accepting something simply because somebody said it confidently. Maybe that is just the way my mind works. Maybe it comes from\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":44,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":1,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-truth-accountability"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions\/46"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/44"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}It should not be about proving who is right<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Evidence has always made me feel safer<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
There are three different statements<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Feelings are real, but feelings are not evidence<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Confidence is not truth<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
My work taught me that evidence can lie too<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
False evidence is evidence too<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I thought evidence would make people listen<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Documentation can protect you and consume you<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Evidence is not about winning<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Due process is personal to me<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Changing your mind is strength<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Patience lets the picture develop<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Documentation taught me how unreliable memory can be<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Confirmation bias can ruin the entire thing<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Truth has three answers<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
If the evidence proves you wrong<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
If the evidence proves you right and nobody cares<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Evidence taught me to slow my reactions<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
If you feel like you have to respond right now, don’t<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Evidence interpreted through anger can become another distortion<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
What I want my children to understand<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
When everything is loud<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n