Let kids be kids.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It sounds simple.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe it should be.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But I think adults forget sometimes how much weight a child can carry without ever having the words to explain that they are carrying it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Anger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Fear.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Confusion.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Loyalty.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Guilt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The feeling that they have to choose.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The feeling that loving one person somehow hurts another.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Those are heavy emotions for adults.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
They are enormous for a child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I believe one of our jobs as parents is to protect our children from the world where we can.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Not shelter them from reality forever.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Shield them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Give them time to grow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Give them room to keep their imagination.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Their unicorns.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Their fairies.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Their rainbows.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Their belief that people they love are safe places.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Because eventually the world will introduce them to pain on its own.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
We do not need to rush the introduction.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n When adults are in conflict, children can end up carrying emotions that were never theirs.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A parent is angry, so the child becomes angry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A parent is afraid, so the child learns fear.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A parent is bitter, so the child starts feeling like love itself has sides.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And underneath all of it is confusion.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Children do not understand adult relationships the way adults do.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not understand years of history.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not understand resentment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not understand why somebody said what they said ten years ago.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not understand legal arguments, financial disagreements, betrayals, accusations, old wounds, or whatever else the adults are fighting about.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They understand something much simpler.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are people I love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And now the people I love are hurting each other.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is enough to shake a child’s world.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It forces them outside of their innocence before they are ready.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It makes them think about things children should not have to think about.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who is right?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who is wrong?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who am I supposed to believe?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I love Mom, am I hurting Dad?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I love Dad, am I betraying Mom?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did I cause this?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Could I fix it?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are not childhood questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But adults can put them into a child’s head anyway.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A child should never feel guilty for loving either parent.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Period.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Whether those adults love each other anymore has nothing to do with the child’s right to love them both.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think that is one of the cruelest positions a child can be placed in.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When loving somebody starts feeling disloyal.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When affection becomes something they have to hide.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When they begin reading the room before mentioning somebody they love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When they start worrying about whether saying one person’s name is going to make another person angry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Think about what that teaches them about love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Love becomes dangerous.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Love becomes political.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Love becomes conditional.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Love becomes something that can hurt somebody else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is not what we should be teaching children.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They should be allowed to love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Freely.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Without manipulation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Without guilt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Without being made responsible for how an adult feels about it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I believe in honesty.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Strongly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But honesty with a child does not mean handing them every adult truth the moment you feel it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is a difference between honesty and unloading.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is a difference between protecting somebody and recruiting them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is a difference between telling a child something because they genuinely need to know it for their safety and telling them because you want them to understand your side.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That line matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes life does not give us the choice.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A child may experience death.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A natural disaster.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Illness.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something frightening.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something that requires an explanation because they need to understand enough to stay safe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But if the information is not protecting them physically or emotionally, I think we need to ask ourselves why they need it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do they need this?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or do I need them to know this?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are very different questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If the purpose is to make them take your side, understand your pain, or see another adult the way you see them, I do not think that belongs on the child’s shoulders.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n For a long time, one of my goals as a parent was to keep my children from seeing pain.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I came from enough pain myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not want that for them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not want them worrying about adult things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not want them feeling the weight I remembered feeling.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I learned something eventually.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot completely protect your children from pain.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The world will get through sometimes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The better goal is to give them tools.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Teach them how to walk through difficult things without becoming those difficult things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think about glass.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Glass goes through intense heat.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That heat can change it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Shape it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Mold it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But the result can become something beautiful.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is closer to what I want for my children now.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not a life where nothing bad ever happens.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I cannot promise them that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want them to know how to walk through the fire without becoming fire themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n When I was a kid, I was involved in adult stress far too early.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adult conflict.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adult conversations.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Worrying about things children should not have to worry about.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Even bills.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I remember what that weight feels like.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So when my children were younger and money was tight, I tried not to put that fear on them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If we needed gas money and I was searching for change, I did not want them hearing:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Oh my God, how are we going to put gas in the car?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We could turn it into something else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who can find the most coins?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Same reality.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different weight.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were wildfires near us once and we were told to evacuate.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Everything was packed.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We were moving.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The kids were asking where we were going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I could have handed them my fear.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Our house might burn down.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “We’re going on a trip.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “Camping?”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “Maybe.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Was the situation serious?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Yes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Was I taking it seriously?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Absolutely.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But my children did not need my fear in order for me to keep them safe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They needed Mommy and Daddy to look like we had it handled.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is what shielding means to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not lying about reality forever.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Carrying the adult-sized part of it so they do not have to.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adults underestimate children constantly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially when it comes to emotion.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A child may not understand every word you are using.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But they understand your face.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your eyes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your tone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your body.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The way you say somebody’s name.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The silence after a question.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The sarcasm.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The tension in the room.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes children probably understand nonverbal communication better than adults because they have to.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not know all the big words yet.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not understand all the adult concepts.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So they watch.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I remember doing that myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I was a quiet kid in a lot of situations.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People might have thought I was shy.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes I was.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I was also listening.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Watching.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Seeing whether somebody’s words matched their body.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Children understand anger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They understand fear.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They understand sadness.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They understand love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Long before they understand whatever explanation the adults have created around those emotions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is why simply saying, “We don’t talk about it in front of them,” is not always enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What are you showing them?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keeping a child out of adult conflict is emotional too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means letting them love people you may not love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means not teaching them hatred.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means not using facial expressions, jokes, comments, stories, or little digs to slowly shape how they see somebody else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means understanding that your feelings belong to you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There may be somebody you cannot stand.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somebody you distrust.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somebody you never want to speak to again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can still let your child form their own relationship with that person if the child is safe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can be cautious.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can pay attention.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can protect.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But caution and hatred are not the same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not want to teach my kids to hate anybody.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want them to learn discernment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Boundaries.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Safety.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I also want them to be able to love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Bitterness changes people if they let it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It changes what feels reasonable.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It changes what feels justified.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It can take a decision that should be about a child’s well-being and quietly turn it into a decision about an adult’s pain.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is where we have to be brutally honest with ourselves.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Am I actually doing this to protect my child?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or am I doing this because I am hurt?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because those can feel like the same thing when you are angry enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can have serious resentment toward another adult and still keep that resentment away from your child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can be disgusted by somebody’s behavior and still refuse to make your child carry your disgust.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can seek accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can set boundaries.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can protect yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can protect your child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But the child does not have to become a participant in your anger.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I believe this completely.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your child is not your therapist.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your child is not your emotional support system.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your child is not responsible for making you feel better about what another adult did.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your child should never feel like they have to protect you emotionally.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Think about the weight of that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A child believing:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I need to make Mom okay.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I need to make Dad happy.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I cannot say this because it will hurt them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I cannot love this person because it will upset that person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have to fix my parent.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is backwards.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We are supposed to be helping them heal.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Helping them grow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Helping them understand their emotions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Helping them become stronger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not asking them to carry us.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I grew up around adult anger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Conflict.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Instability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were adult issues around me that I did not need to understand.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were conversations I did not need.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were worries I did not need.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Stability was not something I really understood until I was older and trying to create it myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That history is one of the reasons I care so much about this.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I know what it feels like when children are given adult weight.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I also know that adults do not always realize they are doing it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes they think they are explaining.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes they think they are being honest.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes they think the child already knows anyway.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But children knowing that something is wrong does not mean they need every detail.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They can know the adults are dealing with something.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They can know they are safe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They can know they are loved.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes that is enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is another side to this that I want to be honest about.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have caught myself wanting to explain.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Of course I have.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am human.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And there have been times when I wondered whether I should have said more.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When you believe your child has already been exposed to adult narratives, staying completely quiet can start to feel complicated.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do you explain?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do you correct?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do you continue trying to let your actions speak?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not have a perfect answer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am still working through that myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There are moments I probably regret not speaking more than I regret anything I actually said.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But even with that uncertainty, I keep coming back to the same question.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What does the child actually need from me?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not what would make me feel vindicated.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not what would make my side clearer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What do they need?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That question has to come first.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Kids are smart.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They see things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They grow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They remember.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Eventually they begin putting pieces together on their own.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is another reason I think we should be careful about shaping their conclusions for them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you feed a child only one side, that is not allowing them to reach their own conclusion.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is directing them toward yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want my children to think.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n To question.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n To observe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n To develop judgment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n To know that even people they love can make mistakes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Including me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n One day they may look at things I did and say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Dad, you handled that wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Okay.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Tell me why.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe they are right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe I learn something.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is healthier to me than raising children who think loving somebody requires adopting all of their opinions too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think adults should be willing to ask themselves something uncomfortable:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If my child grows up and looks back at this situation with completely fresh eyes, will I be okay with what they see me doing?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not what I told them I was doing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What they actually see.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Will they see somebody protecting them?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or somebody using them?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Will they see somebody trying to preserve their relationship with both parents?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or somebody trying to control the relationship?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Will they see love?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or will they see bitterness?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are difficult questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But parenting requires difficult questions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I could sit two adults down who cannot stand each other but share a child they both love, I think I would make it simple.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Put your child first.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them be a kid.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Period.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If the child genuinely comes first, using them to hurt another person should never even become an option.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not carry messages.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not gather information.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not become emotional backup.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not become proof.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not become a bargaining chip.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not become the judge.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They do not become the jury.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are the child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them worry about kid things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Games.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n School.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Friends.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Halloween.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Birthdays.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who gets the blue cup.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Whether they can stay up ten more minutes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They will have plenty of time for adult problems later.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adults hurt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes terribly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am not minimizing that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There are betrayals that change people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Relationships that end badly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Things that deserve anger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Things that deserve accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But your pain does not become a child’s responsibility simply because the pain is real.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you need to talk, find an adult.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A friend.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A therapist.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A family member.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Write.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Walk.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Cry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Yell somewhere your child cannot hear you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do whatever healthy thing you have to do.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But do not take an adult-sized wound and put it inside a child’s head.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your child cannot heal it for you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And they should never have to try.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Love them.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them love.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am not perfect.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My kids have seen me struggle.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They have seen me tired.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They have probably seen more than I wish they had.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I hope when they grow up and look back, they see something consistent.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That I tried to keep adult conflict away from them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That I tried to create a place where they could breathe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where love did not require choosing sides.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where they could be children.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where they could say what they felt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where they could love who they loved.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where the outside world did not always get to come through the door.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe they will look back and see places where I should have done something differently.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I probably will too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I hope the pattern they remember is simple:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Dad kept trying to protect our peace.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not perfectly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But honestly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe somebody reading this is not the parent.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you are the person who grew up carrying all of this.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you were the messenger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you were told things you never should have known.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe loving one person felt like betraying another.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you spent years believing that somebody else’s anger was somehow your fault.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want you to hear this clearly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It was not your fault.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n The conflict was not yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The bitterness was not yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The anger was not yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The fear was not yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You were a child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You deserved to feel safe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You deserved to love without guilt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You deserved adults who handled adult problems without making you responsible for them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And if you did not get that, I am sorry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But please do not let the things adults put on your shoulders convince you that you were ever the problem.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You were not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You were a kid trying to understand a world that should have been protecting you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You are worth more than whatever happened around you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You are loved.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And if you are a parent now, maybe this is where the cycle changes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe your children get something different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe they get the innocence you should have had.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe they get the safety you were looking for.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe they get to love without wondering who it hurts.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That would be something worth changing for.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because adults are allowed to hurt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adults are allowed to be angry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adults are allowed to seek truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adults are allowed to set boundaries.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Adults are allowed to demand accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But children should never be required to carry those things for us.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Put your child first.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them love.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let them be a kid.<\/strong><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Let kids be kids. It sounds simple. Maybe it should be. But I think adults forget sometimes how much weight a child can carry without ever having the\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":41,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fatherhood-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions\/43"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Children should not have to grow up because adults are hurting<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Loving one parent should never feel like betraying another<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Honesty does not mean telling children everything<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I learned that you cannot protect them from everything<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Sometimes protecting their innocence looks ordinary<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Kids notice more than we think<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Keep them out of the middle means more than not using them as a messenger<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Adult pain should not make adult decisions for children<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Never make a child responsible for healing you<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
My own childhood made this personal<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I have wondered if I stayed too quiet<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Children should be allowed to reach their own conclusions<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
One honest question should always be allowed<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Put your child first and let them be a kid<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Your pain does not give you the right to hand it to them<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
What I hope my children remember<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
If you are the child in the middle<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n