For a long time, I thought accountability was mostly about consequences.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You do something wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You get caught.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You admit it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You deal with whatever comes next.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That is part of accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I do not think it is the most important part anymore.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Because somebody can admit what they did, serve whatever punishment comes with it, say they are sorry, and then go right back to doing the same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Nothing really changed.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
To me, accountability is not just admitting that you were wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It is admitting you were wrong and then changing the pattern that got you there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe not overnight.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe not perfectly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But there has to be effort.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There has to be movement.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Otherwise, you are not really taking accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You are just surviving consequences.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There are a lot of things from my younger years that I can look back on now and say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That was on me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Not maybe.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Not sort of.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Mine.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There were times when I blamed circumstances.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Times when I blamed the people around me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Sometimes my mistake really was trusting the wrong person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Letting the wrong person into my house.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Keeping the wrong people around me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Being somewhere I had no business being.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I used to look at situations like that and think:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I did not actually do the thing, so how is that my fault?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I understand it differently now.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Maybe I did not do everything I was blamed for.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But I made the judgment call.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I opened the door.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I chose the environment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I kept people around who were not helping me become the person I said I wanted to be.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That part is mine.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
And learning to separate those things has been important.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You can be unfairly blamed for one part of a situation and still be accountable for another.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Both things can be true.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think accountability feels like punishment when all you can see is what it costs you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The embarrassment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The consequences.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The loss.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The lecture.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The damage.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The thing you wish never happened.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But if you are honest enough, there comes a point where you can use it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something that made you weaker can become something you stand on.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You take the mistake.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You look at it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You figure out how you got there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then you build differently.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That changed accountability for me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Instead of constantly asking:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Why is this happening to me?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You start asking:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What can I do with this?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What do I need to change?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where did I go wrong?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n How do I make sure I do not keep doing this?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not mean picking yourself apart every second of every day.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am already too good at that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means having some checks and balances inside yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Being honest.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because you can lie to a lot of people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can make excuses to a lot of people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But if you get good enough at lying to yourself, you are in real trouble.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you cannot admit the problem exists, you cannot fix it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I understand why I became some of the person I was.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is different from excusing it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Environment matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Childhood matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Pain matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trauma matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who you are surrounded by matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n All of those things can explain behavior.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But explanation and permission are not the same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think when you grow up around dysfunction, dysfunction can start feeling normal.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trauma can become the reason for everything.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is just how we are.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is just how my family is.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is just how I react.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is just what happened to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And if nobody ever interrupts that pattern, it keeps moving.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Generation after generation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n At some point, somebody has to be the difficult one.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The one who changes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The one who pulls away.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The one who says:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n No.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n This stops here.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That person might make people angry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They might be misunderstood.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They might be treated like they are the problem because they stopped participating in something everyone else had accepted.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do it anyway.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A teacher once gave me a quote about excuses that stayed with me for years.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n \u201cExcuses build monuments to nothing. Those who specialize in them are seldom good at anything else.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I still hear that in my head when I catch myself reaching for one.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So now I try to do something different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not turn the reason into an excuse.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Turn the excuse into a reason.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You know why you struggle with this?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Good.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now what are you going to do about it?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think people confuse these constantly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Shame says:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You did something bad, therefore you are bad.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Accountability says:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You did something wrong. What are you going to do now?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those are not the same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Shame can make somebody hide.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Accountability asks them to face it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Shame can keep somebody frozen inside a mistake for years.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Accountability gives the mistake somewhere to go.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You own it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You learn.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You repair what you can.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You change.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then you keep living.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have carried embarrassment and shame for things that belonged to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have also felt shame over versions of myself that I did not recognize and things I did not believe were mine to own.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That taught me something important.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You should be willing to own everything that is yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But you should not confuse being willing to take accountability with accepting every accusation somebody puts in front of you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is not growth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is surrendering your own understanding of the truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think words can become hollow very quickly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I’m sorry.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I love you.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I promise.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those words matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But the action behind them matters more.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody keeps hurting you in the exact same way and every time they say:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Well, I apologized.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n At some point, the apology is not repairing anything.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is becoming part of the cycle.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A real apology should change something.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe slowly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe imperfectly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But there should be effort.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I hurt you and I genuinely regret it, I should want to understand how I hurt you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I should want to avoid doing it again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I should want my behavior to eventually make the apology believable.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is what accountability looks like to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not perfect behavior.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Changed direction.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Before I became a father, a lot of my consequences felt like mine.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I got in trouble.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I dealt with it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Whatever.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not really understand reputation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not fully understand how choices follow you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then I had a child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Suddenly my actions did not end with me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My choices could affect her.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My reputation could affect her.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The way I behaved could affect what people thought about my family.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The things I did could change what I was able to provide, where I could be, and what kind of life I could help build.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That changed everything.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I wanted to become somebody my daughter could be proud of.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somebody my family could point to without embarrassment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I wish I had understood that earlier.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And I have not been perfect since.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But there is something I am proud of.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Every year I have been a parent, I believe I have become better than the year before.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe not as fast as I wish.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe not as cleanly as somebody else would have wanted.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But better.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My children have watched me grow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They have watched me get knocked down.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They have watched me keep going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That matters to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When I was younger, I could be the fall guy and barely care.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were stupid situations where I got blamed for something and I would almost shrug.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Whatever.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not understand the weight of it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not understand that allowing yourself to constantly be placed in bad situations creates a reputation whether you think it is fair or not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then fatherhood changed the equation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Consequences mattered because somebody else could feel them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is when accountability became much more serious to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your life is not just your life anymore.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your child might live with the fallout from decisions they never made.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is a different kind of responsibility.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not think admitting when I am wrong has ever been the hardest part for me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I am wrong, show me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Seriously.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Correct me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I like being corrected when the correction is honest.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because if I am wrong and somebody shows me where, then I am not wrong anymore.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They just patched a hole in my knowledge.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Thank you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Where I struggle is when I am asked to own something that I do not believe is mine.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is a strange kind of demoralization in being willing to admit your real mistakes while feeling like people are waiting for you to admit to something else too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Something you cannot honestly say you did.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And sometimes your refusal to accept that becomes its own evidence against you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n See?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n He will not admit it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But how do you honestly take accountability for something you do not believe is true?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n At some point, you have to learn to let people have their version.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not make it yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means you stop destroying yourself trying to force somebody else to return it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Honestly, the courtroom was not where I learned accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Life taught me accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Consequences taught me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Fatherhood taught me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Relationships taught me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My own conscience taught me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The courtroom taught me something different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It taught me that systems are human.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are built by people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Operated by people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Argued inside by people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And people bring their own limitations, relationships, perceptions, resources, and experiences with them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not make systems meaningless.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means systems need safeguards.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Checks.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Balances.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Honesty.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Transparency.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Rights that matter even when somebody is unpopular.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The courtroom did not introduce me to responsibility.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n By the time I ever had to think seriously about accountability in that environment, life had already been teaching me the lesson for years.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes brutally.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I absolutely believe people can change.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have to.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am proof of it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not mean somebody wakes up one morning and becomes a completely different person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Change is usually uglier than that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is trying.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Failing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Catching yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trying again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Getting something right.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Getting something else wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Moving forward.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Slipping.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Moving forward again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People need a reason.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes it is themselves.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes it is a child.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A partner.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A future they want.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A moment where they finally realize:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I cannot keep doing this.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then they need honesty.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because wanting change without being honest about what needs to change is not going to get you very far.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And people trying to change need something else too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Grace.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not infinite permission to keep hurting people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Grace.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is a difference.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somebody can be struggling and still deserve encouragement for trying.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A person can be one percent better this year.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then another percent.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then another.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is still movement.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We should probably spend more time encouraging people who are genuinely climbing and less time standing above them explaining how easy we think the mountain should be.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think people sometimes see somebody with a troubled past make another mistake and immediately decide:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n See?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They never changed.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not think that is fair.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially when the person is genuinely trying.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who grew up with stability sometimes do not understand what growth looks like when somebody starts much further behind.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different environment.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different money.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different mental health.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different family.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different opportunities.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different tools.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Different starting line.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not remove personal responsibility.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It just adds context.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have tremendous respect for people who come out of situations where statistics say they probably should not have made it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who build something from dirt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who break cycles.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who become softer after growing up around hardness.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who keep trying when nobody expects much from them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is real growth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And real growth is rarely a movie ending.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is raw.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It goes up and down.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It takes time.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is something I would absolutely handle differently today than I did years ago.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I used to dislike somebody because I knew they disliked me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Simple as that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not like me?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Fine.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not like you either.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now I understand something I did not understand then.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes somebody dislikes a version of you that is not actually you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are angry at somebody who exists in their head.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Why would I spend my energy hating them back?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I can protect myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I can be cautious.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I can keep distance.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I do not need to join their war.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Especially if they are aiming at somebody who does not exist.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes that realization is almost peaceful.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not like me?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Okay.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe if you knew me, you would.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe we would have actually gotten along.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe we could have built something cool together.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Either way:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am sorry things ended up that way.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Have a good day.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And I am going to keep moving.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If my kids ever ask about my past, I do not want to hide it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not want to make the bad decisions sound fun either.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to use them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Here is what I did.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Here is what happened.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Here is what it cost.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Here is what I learned.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n One of the biggest lessons I want them to understand is how important the people around them are.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who you let into your life matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who you trust matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who you spend your time with matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Find people who lift you when you fall.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not people who make the hole deeper.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Find the person who says:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Hey.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Leave that alone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We are moving forward.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those people can change your life.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And when you find them, be that person for them too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope my kids see how I respond when I am wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want them to know being corrected is not humiliation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is information.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I have something wrong, show me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Now I know more than I did five minutes ago.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is a win.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The important part is what comes after the mistake.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What did you do with it?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did you fix it?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did you learn?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did you change?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did you apologize?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Did you make the same choice tomorrow?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Being wrong does not make you stupid.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Making a mistake does not make you a bad person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Refusing to learn from it is where the problem starts.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody is terrified that admitting one mistake means they are a terrible person forever, I would tell them:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Just own it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The sooner you do, the sooner you can do something with it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot grow around something you refuse to acknowledge.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Take accountability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then let your actions afterward say who you are.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Let the pattern speak.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If somebody still wants to freeze you at your worst moment, that is their choice.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not have to stay there with them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There will be other people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who appreciate the work.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who see the difference.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People who love you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If I could sit across from myself before fatherhood, before a lot of the consequences, before I understood any of this, I think I would tell him:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can run from accountability for a while.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can shrug.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can blame circumstances.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can say you do not care.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But eventually it catches up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And when it does, you may look at somebody you love and wish you had started sooner.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So start now.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Think about your future self.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Is what you are doing today actually helping that person become who you say you want to be?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If the people around you cannot see your dream, that does not automatically mean the dream is wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But take accountability for that too.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trust yourself enough to build it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Choose better people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Make better decisions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Own what you break.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Fix what you can.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Learn faster.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do it before you lose time you cannot get back.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And understand something I wish more people understood:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Accountability is not admitting that you are a bad person.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is believing you are capable of becoming a better one.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Own what is yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Change what needs changing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Give other people grace while they are trying to do the same.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And have enough respect for yourself to leave behind the shame that was never yours to carry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because accountability was never supposed to keep you on the ground.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is supposed to help you get back up.<\/strong><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For a long time, I thought accountability was mostly about consequences. You do something wrong. You get caught. You admit it. You deal with whatever comes next. That\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":37,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-truth-accountability"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions\/39"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Accountability stopped feeling like punishment when I started using it<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Reasons are not excuses<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Shame and accountability are not the same thing<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
An apology without effort becomes another pattern<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Parenthood made consequences real<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Consequences mattered when they stopped belonging only to me<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
The hardest lesson was learning what not to own<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
The courtroom did not teach me accountability<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
People can change because I know I did<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
A troubled past does not make growth fake<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I stopped disliking people just because they disliked me<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I will tell my children the truth about my mistakes<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I want my kids to know it is okay to be wrong<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Admit it before you build a life around hiding it<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
What I would tell the younger version of me<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n