I think a lot of people believe becoming a parent automatically earns them the title.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You have a child, so now you are a mother.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You have a child, so now you are a father.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But I do not think it is that simple.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Having a child makes you responsible for another human being.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Being a parent is what you repeatedly choose to do with that responsibility.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
To me, parenthood has very little to do with you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Once you become a parent, your life changes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Your decisions are not only yours anymore.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The way you speak matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The people you allow around your children matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The things you tolerate matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The promises you make matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The way you handle pain matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The way you love matters.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Because to a child, you are one of their first sources of information about almost everything.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Trust.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Safety.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Honesty.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Relationships.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The world.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
And eventually, themselves.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That is why I think parenthood is not a title.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It is a pattern.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not think children learn that you love them because you tell them once.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They learn it because they experience it over and over.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Love becomes a pattern.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is showing up when things are good.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Showing up when things are difficult.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Showing up when they disappoint you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Showing up when you are tired.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Showing up when they are struggling.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Showing up when their choices are not the choices you would have made.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Unconditional love means they do not have to perform correctly to earn your love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It does not mean there are no rules.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It does not mean there are no consequences.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means the relationship itself is not constantly being held hostage.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The child does not have to wonder:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do you still love me?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Are you still here?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Can I still trust you?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want my kids to know the answer before they ever have to ask.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Yes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Always.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trust is not built because you announce that you are trustworthy.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is built because your child keeps finding you where you said you would be.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You keep your word.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You tell them the truth.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You listen.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You have their back.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not make them responsible for adult problems.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not turn them into pieces in somebody else’s game.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You let them be children.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And if you mess up, you own it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That matters to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Words can become hollow very quickly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People can say, “I love you.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They can say, “I’m sorry.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They can say, “I promise.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But children notice when later never comes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They notice when the Lego set stays untouched after hearing “we’ll do it later” ten times.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They notice when a promise means something.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They notice when it does not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is why I believe actions matter so much more than titles.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not tell me you are sorry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Show me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not tell me it was a mistake.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Show me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Do not tell me you care.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Show me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Effort is proof.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n One of the most important things I try to do with my kids is listen.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Really listen.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is a difference between hearing your child and listening to them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can hear every word and still miss the person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Listening means trying to understand what they are actually saying.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trying to understand what they want.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What they are afraid of.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What interests them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What they are becoming.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think parents can sometimes fall into the trap of believing age automatically means wisdom in every direction.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Yes, we know more about some things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We have lived longer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We have made mistakes our kids have not had time to make yet.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But our children are not copies of us.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are not supposed to be.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot hold them against some old standard and expect them to become exactly what existed before them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can put a child in a box before they even realize there are walls around them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I would rather guide.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Show them roads.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Explain the options.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Give them information.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And then, when it is appropriate, step back.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If my son becomes interested in the military, I can show him the paths.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I can explain what different choices might mean.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That does not mean I decide his life for him.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to teach my kids how to choose.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not choose everything for them.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Kids are sponges.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Every parent knows that phrase.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I think we sometimes forget what it really means.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are not only absorbing what you deliberately teach them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are absorbing you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n How you respond when you are angry.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n How you speak when you think they are not listening.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n How you treat people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n How you treat yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Who you keep around.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What you accept.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What you laugh at.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What you fear.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What you repeatedly do.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is why protecting children is such a difficult balance.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot shelter them from reality forever.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But you also do not have to hand them every ugly part of adulthood before they are ready to understand it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think there is a difference between sheltered and shielded.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You want them to experience life.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You want them to grow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You want them to make mistakes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But you also have a responsibility to protect their innocence where you can.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And that means understanding that who you allow around them can matter almost as much as who you are around them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When I think about my own childhood, there are not many patterns I intentionally wanted to repeat.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There are pieces of it I miss.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The imagination.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The sense of wonder.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The feeling that almost anything was possible.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The innocence of believing that evil would always look obvious.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When you are a kid, the villain wears the costume.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Everybody knows who the bad guy is.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then you get older.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Life is not nearly that simple.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Most of the patterns from my childhood and teenage years are things I have worked hard not to carry forward.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My childhood often felt like a war zone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Questions could feel pointed.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Statements could feel sharp.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You never completely knew what would set something off.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I escaped into video games.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Movies.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The internet.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Those places gave me somewhere else to exist for a while.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somewhere I was not simply the poor kid whose family already had a reputation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Somewhere I could imagine something different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I was taught a lot about anger.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I was not taught much about peace.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And it took me longer than I wish it had to understand how much of that I was carrying.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I wish I could say I understood everything early.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It took trouble.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It took consequences.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It took becoming a father.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It took realizing that there was a possibility I could miss my child’s life because of the decisions I was making.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That changes the way you look at yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I wish it had happened sooner.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But better late than never.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have not been perfect since.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not even close.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But there is something powerful about realizing you are not required to remain who you were.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your past can explain you without owning you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And once you understand that, the responsibility becomes yours.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can keep repeating the pattern.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or you can start building another one.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I care deeply about showing up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If my child has a game, I want to watch the game.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I am not there just to socialize.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to see how they played.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to know what happened.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to be able to talk to them about it afterward.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If there is an awards ceremony, I want to be there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A recital.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A school event.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Whatever it is.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have gone to those things for my children and my stepson.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were times I was the only person sitting there for them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That was never about competing with anybody else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It was not about saying, “Look who showed up.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It was about my child looking out and seeing:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n He’s here.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n That matters to me more than I know how to explain.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because when I was young, I think one of the things I wanted most was simply for somebody to be there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And I know that people in my life may have believed they were there for me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe they were, according to what they understood.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I cannot blame everyone forever for only knowing what they knew.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I can learn from how it felt.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want there to be no question in my children’s minds that I showed up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That I cared.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That I loved them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have also learned something uncomfortable.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can physically be there and still not really be present.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have done that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There were times I let pain, emotions, or things happening outside my home cloud the beauty sitting right in front of me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I could spend so much energy trying to protect the peace inside the house that I did not notice I was sometimes carrying the outside world through the door myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is hard to admit.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But being a parent requires honesty with yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And if there is one thing I have always been capable of, sometimes probably too capable of, it is finding every way I could have done something better.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You do not have to tell me every place I went wrong.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have probably already replayed it a thousand times and made myself sound worse than you ever could.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But that honesty can also become useful.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because once you see a pattern, you can change it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Being present means more than being in the room.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It means looking into their eyes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Listening.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Understanding.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Being emotionally available.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not allowing your pain to constantly become theirs.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have not always done that perfectly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I am working on it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And I am never going to stop.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I did not grow up learning patience.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People were not particularly patient with me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And I was not particularly patient either.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My children taught me something different.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think part of it comes from love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It has always been easier for me to love them than to love myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Easier to forgive them than forgive myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Easier to be patient with them than patient with myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is something about loving another person more than you think about yourself that changes you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And children return that love in such a pure way.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Your babies love you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They just do.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Before they understand your history.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Before they understand reputation.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Before they understand mistakes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They know you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And they love you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There is something deeply healing about that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe patience began for me when I finally understood what unconditional love felt like going both directions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I think routines matter more than people realize.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Bedtime stories.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Prayers.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Little traditions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Saying goodnight to the moon and stars.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We slowed down on that one for a while when the little ones entered their “outside is scary at night” phase.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We will get back to it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We have made up songs.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Little dances.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n For a long time, we had a whole routine around turning on all the lights in the house when it started getting dark.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n From the outside, those things look tiny.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe silly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I think those tiny rituals give children roots.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They create stability.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They give them familiar things in a world that is constantly changing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They create memories.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They give a child the feeling that there are things they can count on.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Sometimes we are so focused on providing the big things that we forget children often build their sense of home from the smallest ones.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When my children are grown, I hope they are honest about me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not need them to say I was perfect.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I was not.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I would be completely okay with them saying:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n My dad was flawed.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because I am.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I have come a long way, but I am still a person.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What I hope they say after that matters much more.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they say I cared.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they say I loved people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they say I loved them more than I ever knew how to love myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they say I tried.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is really it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to give them good memories.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to give them a good chance at life.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not want to control their future opinion of me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want to live in a way where they can form that opinion honestly.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And if what they remember is:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n He was not perfect, but he loved us and he tried like hell.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n I can live with that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The thing that scares me most about being a parent is knowing there will be a day when I am not here.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n One day I will not be able to guide them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I will not be able to answer the phone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I will not be able to protect them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I will not be sitting at the awards ceremony.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or the game.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or wherever life takes them next.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is one reason the pattern matters so much to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because someday the pattern is what remains.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want them to have heard “I love you” enough times that they still hear it when I am gone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want them to remember that I showed up enough times that they never have to wonder whether I wanted to.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I want them to have enough memories of me listening that when they are older, they know their thoughts mattered.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I cannot control how long I am here.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But I can control what I repeatedly give them while I am.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If there is one thing I wish more parents understood, it is that being there is not enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Money is not enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Words are not enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Simply occupying the same room is not enough.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Being present means looking into your child’s eyes and listening.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not just being able to repeat what they said.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Trying to understand it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n People have sometimes been surprised by how well I understand my younger kids when they are speaking in what sounds like complete gibberish to everyone else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I do not think there is anything special about me there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I listen.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I pay attention.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I learn what their sounds mean.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n If you were learning another language, you would do the same thing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They point.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You connect the word.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You recognize the pattern.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You learn.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That is parenting to me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Pay attention.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Guide.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then give them room to become themselves.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n There may be a parent reading this who thinks they have already messed up too much.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you yelled too much.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you were absent.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you broke promises.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you let your own pain spill into their lives.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe you look backward and think:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I fucked this up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Okay.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n What are you going to do now?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can let that realization push you further downhill.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Or you can start climbing.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Mistakes have exactly as much power over your future as you continue giving them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You cannot undo yesterday.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But you can change the pattern your child experiences tomorrow.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Own what you did.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Apologize when you need to.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Show them the apology was real.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Be there.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Listen.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Try again.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is not over.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n And your kids still need you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n You are worth the effort too.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can provide for a child without really parenting them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You can pay bills.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Buy clothes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Put food on the table.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And all of those things matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But there is more.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Parenthood is repeatedly putting your children before the petty adult things that can consume us.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is refusing to make them responsible for conflicts they did not create.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is trying to improve their life instead of using them to improve your position.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is remembering that they are not possessions.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They are people.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n They will have their own thoughts.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Their own beliefs.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Their own lives.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Their own mistakes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Our job is not to manufacture smaller versions of ourselves.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Our job is to love them, protect them, teach them, guide them, and eventually trust them enough to walk their own road.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When my children are grown, there are two patterns I hope they remember most.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The first is love.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they remember that my love was not conditional.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That they did not have to jump through hoops for it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That they did not have to believe exactly what I believed.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That they did not have to become exactly what I imagined.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n That no matter what happened, I loved them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The second is that I kept going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they remember watching me get knocked down and get back up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe stumble.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe fall.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Maybe need a minute.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n But keep moving.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n I hope they learn that from me.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not that you never struggle.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not that you never fail.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Not that people will always understand you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Just that you keep going.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep loving.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep trying.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep learning.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Keep showing up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Because at the end of the day, being a parent is not something you prove by saying:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I am their mother.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n “I am their father.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You prove it in the thousands of moments that come after those words.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Parenthood is not a title.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n It is a pattern.<\/strong><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think a lot of people believe becoming a parent automatically earns them the title. You have a child, so now you are a mother. You have a\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":30,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":1,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fatherhood-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions\/32"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/30"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshuazaleski.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Love is a pattern<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Trust is a pattern too<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Listening matters more than people realize<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Children are watching more than we think<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I had a lot of patterns I wanted to stop<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Sometimes it takes something enormous to wake you up<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Showing up means more than occupying a seat<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
You can be there without being present<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
My kids taught me patience<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
The small things become roots<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
I do not need my kids to think I was perfect<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
The thing that scares me most<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Being present means listening<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
If you have messed up, keep going<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Providing and parenting are not the same thing<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
The patterns I hope they remember<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n